Saturday

 Saturday evening- a time of day when anything is possible. Maybe you're going out with your girlfriends for a night on the town. Perhaps you and your significant other are going to catch a movie and then have a delicious dinner. Then again, you could be spending your Saturday like me. Little dude crawling and babbling while I attempt to catch up on a t.v. show and decide whether or not I want to load the dishwasher. I'll probably load it and then reward myself with Cinderella because that seems to be the only interesting thing on tonight.
   It's okay that I'm having a laid back Saturday with my little dude. We had a lot of fun on my birthday this past Thursday and yesterday we were out. That's just too much for the baby monster (yes, that is a term of endearment for my son. It just rolled of the tongue one day. I'm also known as the mommy monster. He's a cute little monster). My son is like a little old man. He's set in his ways and would rather be home crawling on the floor while Mickey Mouse Club House is on in the background instead of being out visiting his Grams and Grandpa. I don't get it. He has a great Grams and Grandpa.
  Lets get back to my birthday. I did have a good one.The weather was gorgeous. My students made me feel very loved. I got a card and some sweet  notes that wished me a happy birthday with thanks for being their teacher. Those are some of the best gifts I could ever receive. Then they broke out singing "Happy Birthday" to me.
   After school I went home so my hubs and I could have dinner together and then we went to my parents' home because my dad ordered a birthday cake for me. He was very proud of his design decision. I'm blessed with such loving parents.

My dad has always known me well. Purple is my favorite color. 

   Though my birthday was low-key I enjoyed the time with family. Don't worry, I do plan to celebrate some more later down the road with my friends. We're going to get our paint on and dig down deep to find our inner artists. This, I cannot wait to do!

    This birthday was just a teeny bit hard for me to face. I'm on the other side of 25 now. Turning 25 was exciting since it felt like I was really in the adult club. I managed to achieve a lot by 25, which was a goal I had. It seemed like a good number. While I have a great many things to check off of my bucket list, it feels different now. I'm closer to 30 than I've been. Seriously, I can remember turning 10 and getting my brand new bike. It felt like yesterday. Sometimes I still feel like I'm 16 years old.            

    Knowing that 30 is not as far off as it has been really got to me. Mainly I'm still upset over the fact that I'm still not where I want to be physically. I still remember telling myself that it was okay to be chunky because I was going to get skinny by the time I reached my twenties. That did happen and then I let it slip away from me. Seven years later I'm back to telling myself that it's okay because I'm going to get skinny by the time I reach my thirties. To be honest, I am weary of this weight-loss battle. Since August I have lost 44 pounds. That is a huge loss and I know I'm on my way to getting back to where I was seven years ago. Right now I weigh the same as I did that day seven years ago when I told myself that enough was enough. It's mentally draining to keep telling myself that I am going to get past this point when I  keep getting angry that I was already here and had taken care of it. 

   What I need is a swift kick in the behind to get myself in gear. I have all the things I need to get going, but I'm not in the frame of mind to actually start. Frustrated does not even begin to describe what I feel. My birthday gift to myself has got to be the start of changing for good. A healthy life style was one of my major New Year's goals and here we are 4 months later and I can't even figure out an exercise routine. Thanks to some positive ladies I met while pregnant I joined an S-P-P challenge (squats, push-ups and planks). It's nothing major, but it's a start. I'll talk more about it because it's a simple thing to do each day for a person who wants to get a routine started. My overall goal is for my weight not to be on my mind everyday. I'd rather be thinking of Johnny Depp or what book I want to read next, not have my thoughts be interrupted while reading my book thinking, "Well the hero would not go for a girl like me because I look awful!" 

  This is not the direction I thought this post would take, but obviously these thoughts have been on my mind. That's what this blog is about though. Getting the many moments and thoughts out there to start each day new. 

Happy Birthday In Heaven

If I have the story correct I believe today was my mom's original due date. It would have been pretty neat if I was born April 7th because I would have been able to share a birthday with my lovely Great-Aunt Erma and her brother, my wonderful Poppy. My mom told me that my Poppy had hoped we'd have the same birthday. I love thinking on that sweet little story.

My Poppy was a great man. He served in World War II, was a good husband and father, and a great grandfather. Until I was 14, I would only see him and my grandmother once a year because they lived in Florida while I was in New Jersey with my family. Usually we'd get to see them the month of May. I looked forward to that month every year and would just about die with excitement when my dad would tell us that my grandparents left Florida. I'd count down the two days it took them to drive. "Did they call? Are they here yet?" Bless my father because I asked that question every hour at times. 

I have a  few memories I can actually remember from my young years that involved my Poppy. I remember going out to dinner with him, my grandma and my aunts. I ordered iced tea thinking it would be lemon flavored, but it was not.  Another memory is shopping in a store like Wal-Mart and being able to pick out a toy. I remember picking out a baby doll with blond hair wearing a white dress. I couldn't contain my excitement and just talked to him on the drive home. He listened and joined in. My memories may not be exact, but they are like a water color painting all mixed together to create an overall image to look back on. Thank goodness for home videos and photos. I love looking back on them and smiling.

Even though moving from New Jersey to Florida was the biggest upheaval in my life that I've experienced, I am grateful for the move. It gave me a chance to get to know my grandparents better. One day I was feeling pretty down in the dumps because I was still the new student at school. I didn't know anyone so I just stayed home all summer (the joys of moving to a knew place right at the end of the school year). My Poppy noticed I wasn't happy. He looked at me and said, "It's not always going to be this way. Once school starts you'll make new friends and you'll be going out all the time. Hang in there." His words of encouragement cheered me up. He didn't say many words, but when he did they were always meaningful. He always took the time to tell me how proud he was of me. Those words still stay near my heart.

He passed away in early 2012 at the age of 90. Right before he passed away I graduated from college with my teaching degree and just a few days later married my husband. Everyday I am thankful that I was still able to share those joyous moments with him. I wish he was here to see my son, but I know he's watching from Heaven. Every time I sing, "You are My Sunshine" I think of my Poppy and smile. 

He is often in my thoughts and miss him dearly. I love him very much.

 Happy Birthday, Poppy! You're always in my heart.

Catch That Cat!

  Hello, my name is Karen and I am a cat person. Dogs are great, just when someone else owns them. I like how cats are independent. They'll seek me out when they want some loving which is less work for me.As long as I feed them, keep their litter box clean, and make sure they are healthy I can pretty much rest assured that my cats aren't plotting  to take over our home. Cats can be weird like that.

  My hubs and I are the owners of two very interesting cats. Seriously, as I am typing this my brother just sent me a text requesting  a picture of one of them. That would be Sammy the Siamese- he's just so large that no one believes you when you tell them. You have to show the pictures. The second cat is Peanut Butter McChunks, Mick for short. There is not one hair that has a peanut butter color to it on him. He's all black. He can thank the hubs for that name. 

  Personally, I think Mick feels left out because Sam is an attention hog. It's hard not to be when you are a cool cat. When my hubs took them to a routine vet check-up, Mick was finished with his check-up pretty quickly. Sammy's check-up was longer, and it wasn't due to the fact that he had something horribly wrong with him. Nope. He's our "exotic" cat. The vet and the vet assistants at the clinic were passing him around and showing him off because they couldn't get over how mellow he was, how cool he looked and how large he was. How could Mick not develop a cat complex?

  The past seven months haven't been a picnic for Mick either. Throughout my entire pregnancy he was by my side. I thought that it meant a future friendship between him and my son. Mick was always on the belly. Once we got home from the hospital with our sweet son who wailed loud enough to wake the dead, Mick was out of sight. Sam has adjusted well. He's the cat who's developing a pet relationship with my son. They're buds. Mick just wants my attention and I feel bad because once I am able to give it to him that is when my seventh month old decides he needs my attention as well. You can only guess who wins the attention contest. This means Mick as been acting out lately by doing some really annoying things!

  I thought it was annoying when he'd hide in the bedroom while we were putting our son to bed. He'd make it so hard to get him out that it required the laser pointer and cat treats every time. Then he'd find something else- like chewing on our stash of bottled water and putting holes in the lids with his teeth. He recently has found a better way to grab our attention. 

  That is Mick escaping from our second floor porch to the second floor porch across the way. Clearly we can't allow him on the porch anymore, even with supervision. Seriously, why is my porch not screened in? This has been the greatest annoyance of my life since moving into our place a few years ago. Screens keep cats in and bugs out! I wasn't home to deal with this lovely attention seeking ploy because I was at work. My hubs had to figure this one out. It involved cat treats and my non-stop laughter. 

  What's really sad? This cat escape was the most entertaining thing to happen to us all week. Please, don't think for one second that I am not totally amused with my son. He's captured my heart and I could watch him scoot, crawl and drool all day. He cracks me up, makes me smile and fills my heart with joy. However, it is nice to get out every now and then and DO something. We've been lacking in that area lately. It's the new parent life we have going on (and the fact that bills just keep coming every month. What is up with that?). I think by the time our son is a year old we'll have it figured out...I hope. So while Mick pulled a naughty cat trick, I have to thank him for some amusement. 

I am crossing my fingers for a more exciting weekend next week. Clearly we need it. 

Lullaby Thoughts

  Seven months ago my husband and I were blessed with one the greatest gifts God could give us. Welcoming my son into the world was one of the most humbling, rewarding and grandest moments of my life so far. I think back on that day with fondness. My delivery went very well and it's hard to express how grateful I am for that. I was terrified of delivering a baby. TERRIFIED! I'm a wuss when it comes to medical stuff. Just the thought of a needle can make me shiver. Delivering a baby did something for my confidence. I had to rely on my inner strength and knowing that I can dig that deep to accomplish something great gives me an extra pep in my step everyday. Everything after that day feels like a walk in the park at times because I was convinced it was the hardest thing I'd ever do. Wrong. 

   My husband and I weren't even two weeks together as a family when I had to pack up my lunchbox with  so I could head off to work. It's a long story and one that I'm trying not hold on to so that I can move on. My son was only 11 days old. I literally just had a baby and there I was going back to work. Leaving my sweet baby at home at such a young age tore at my heart, but I knew I was doing the right thing. My family needed me to work. I had to rely on that inner strength again. People are shocked when they hear about what I did. I know I overcame a great obstacle and everything worked out. I thought that that was the hardest thing I'd ever do. I was wrong again.

   Loving my son proves me wrong everyday. The hardest thing I'll ever have to do is acknowledge that my sweet baby will grow up and that every precious moment I have with him must be cherished within that exact moment. Tonight we were snuggled up listening to lullabies. While the sweet melodies carried him off to sleep they made me tear up. Being a mom is the most rewarding and heart breaking job I can imagine. I don't need years of experience to know that. These few months have taught me that lesson rather quickly.

   Each time I hold him, each time he smiles at me with that mischievous look in eyes, each time he reaches out for me to hold him is a fleeting moment in time. He won't always be this small. He won't always need me like this. He's growing and getting bigger each day while also becoming just a tiny bit more independent. That's where the heart break comes in. All of those milestones are something to celebrate. I'm so excited that he figured out how to crawl forward. Then it makes me sad because it's one more step that  my little man has taken toward changing and heading into his next stage. Bittersweet is the perfect word to describe what it is to be a mom. 

   Listening to lullabies has taught me something. They are soft, slow and beautiful. While they help little ones slow down and drift off to dreamland, they help sooth a parent's soul by reaching out to them to help them slow down and enjoy the beautiful moments. So I'll take a breath and try to slow down my mind. I'll tell it to stop always thinking about tomorrow and just focus on today. 

   

Updating Fail

I don't know what to write. I just know that I want to. When I first started this blog I loved it. I was motivated and ready to post and share about fitness- but something has changed. My life isn't just about focusing on fitness anymore. My life is about my whole well being and this is why I believe I haven't been able to continue posting. Since my son was born 7 months ago my time and energy had to be invested in learning how to be a mom, a wife, a teacher, a friend and a person. I've been trying to find the new me. I felt like I couldn't continue to write a blog about losing weight when that is not what I have been focusing on.

I miss writing though. There are times when I'm holding my son and the urge to write and share my feelings about a sweet baby snuggled up with me is so strong I want to jump on my computer at that moment so my fingers can fly across the  keys and record every moment so it's never forgotten. My outlet used to be writing.Lord knows I need an outlet. When I sit down and reflect on my day or what's really on my mind I feel at peace. Clarity comes to me when I write and then I can go on with my day. It's therapeutic. When I was young I was told that writing was my "thing" and I abandoned it. I haven't taken the time to get better or to write about what matters to me most.

This blog will no longer be about just losing weight since it is just one aspect of my life. It's going to be a record of what's happening in my life. Perhaps one person will connect for a moment that reflects on life after having a baby, or maybe it will be about the moment when you just wish your hair would look the way you want it to because you're really not mad about your hair but it's just one more thing that isn't going the way you planned. I just need to write again and maybe then the updates will occur more.

Hugs and love,
Karen

Let the Squat Challenge Begin!

Well hello there my lovely readers. I hope that everyone is enjoying their weekend. A friend from Canada mentioned that this was her "long weekend" for Thanksgivings. So a happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in Canada! That reminds me that my Thanksgiving celebrations aren't too far away and that gets me all excited. I appreciate Thanksgiving much more in my adult years than I did when I was a child. Maybe it's due to the fact that I get to enjoy some wine with my dinner...

Holiday discussion is not what brought you to this evening's post. What drew you in was the snappy title! That's right folks, I am going to participate in another squat challenge. I cross my heart and pinkie promise that I will NOT get pregnant this time around. I'm more excited than any one person should be to begin this squat challenge. I'm going to get weird looks from my co-workers when my squat accomplishments become my talking point at lunch time. That's okay with me because I feel so free!

I was six weeks postpartum on Thursday. My check up went well and I am cleared to resume my normal activities. I already knew I was going to register for kickball again this year, but I had no clue what else I was going to do as a daily exercise to get back in the workout groove. Then another new mama in the MLFC mentioned she wanted to start working out again and wanted to do a squat challenge. I jumped on board and we decided to cheer each other on. It caught on and now other lovely ladies are joining us. We start tomorrow.

Here is the schedule if you would like join us too.

My fellow new-mama found this schedule through a Google search (and I just tried to find the original source but it brings me to a Pinterest board). 

Tomorrow starts off with 50 squats. I think after carrying a probably 10 pound baby in a baby carrier  up and down stairs more than once today that tomorrow's squats will be slightly less difficult than I anticipate. My fingers are crossed. 

I hope you join us. It's going to be fun. Really, I promise. And don't forget to take a before and after picture because you'll be amazed by the results. I've seen some pretty powerful pictures. 

Hugs and love, 

I Found A Quick Moment

Well hello there! I have to type as fast my fingers will let me. My little man is sleeping and miraculously I found some time to myself and I thought I should update.

Wow did that first month with little man fly by. He has kept me and the hubby on our toes since arriving and I know it's never going to end from here on out. We are so blessed to have him in our lives. I can't imagine life without him now. My son is perfection.

So what has happened in the last month? I'm teaching again! I'm still sending up prayers of thanks to God for opening that door again. This year I am teaching third grade. It's challenging because I feel like it's such a leap from second grade to third grade - my kiddos aren't so little anymore. They grew up so much over the summer ( I get to teach many of the same kiddos I taught last year since I moved up grades with them).  It's going to be a great year.

This last month has also given me a jump start on my weight loss journey. I found my Weight Watchers weigh-in book from last year. My last weigh-in, which just before I found I was expecting,  was December 3rd (please don't hold me to it. I've got brain drain from my sweet little man) and I was 241 pounds. That is how much I weighed the day I was induced. Now that I have it all straightened out I can officially say that I did not gain anything during my pregnancy. I thought I lost, but I maintained. My belly was all baby. "How does that jump start your weight loss journey?", you ask. Well here's how!

Within  seven days after my delivery I lost about 13 pounds and they just kept melting off. I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked at the scale. By two weeks postpartum I made my 10% Weight Watchers goal and started fitting into pre-pre-pregnancy clothing. I'll be five weeks postpartum on Thursday and my total weight loss is 20.4 pounds. YES!!!

Once my doctor gives me the go ahead to exercise again, which I hope is in the next two weeks, I'm taking my "before" shot and getting back at it with exercise. I'm already planning on playing kickball with my awesome team again this year (oh and team, I promise not to get pregnant during our season!).  These are exciting times again. Me- excited about exercise. Who would have thought?

My goal is to get as close to the 100's as possible by Christmas. Onederland here I come!

Phew, this entry is finished and just in time. My baby boy is waking up and...here comes the little scrunched up face that is an indicator for crying. Mom to the rescue!

Hugs and love,