Lullaby Thoughts

  Seven months ago my husband and I were blessed with one the greatest gifts God could give us. Welcoming my son into the world was one of the most humbling, rewarding and grandest moments of my life so far. I think back on that day with fondness. My delivery went very well and it's hard to express how grateful I am for that. I was terrified of delivering a baby. TERRIFIED! I'm a wuss when it comes to medical stuff. Just the thought of a needle can make me shiver. Delivering a baby did something for my confidence. I had to rely on my inner strength and knowing that I can dig that deep to accomplish something great gives me an extra pep in my step everyday. Everything after that day feels like a walk in the park at times because I was convinced it was the hardest thing I'd ever do. Wrong. 

   My husband and I weren't even two weeks together as a family when I had to pack up my lunchbox with  so I could head off to work. It's a long story and one that I'm trying not hold on to so that I can move on. My son was only 11 days old. I literally just had a baby and there I was going back to work. Leaving my sweet baby at home at such a young age tore at my heart, but I knew I was doing the right thing. My family needed me to work. I had to rely on that inner strength again. People are shocked when they hear about what I did. I know I overcame a great obstacle and everything worked out. I thought that that was the hardest thing I'd ever do. I was wrong again.

   Loving my son proves me wrong everyday. The hardest thing I'll ever have to do is acknowledge that my sweet baby will grow up and that every precious moment I have with him must be cherished within that exact moment. Tonight we were snuggled up listening to lullabies. While the sweet melodies carried him off to sleep they made me tear up. Being a mom is the most rewarding and heart breaking job I can imagine. I don't need years of experience to know that. These few months have taught me that lesson rather quickly.

   Each time I hold him, each time he smiles at me with that mischievous look in eyes, each time he reaches out for me to hold him is a fleeting moment in time. He won't always be this small. He won't always need me like this. He's growing and getting bigger each day while also becoming just a tiny bit more independent. That's where the heart break comes in. All of those milestones are something to celebrate. I'm so excited that he figured out how to crawl forward. Then it makes me sad because it's one more step that  my little man has taken toward changing and heading into his next stage. Bittersweet is the perfect word to describe what it is to be a mom. 

   Listening to lullabies has taught me something. They are soft, slow and beautiful. While they help little ones slow down and drift off to dreamland, they help sooth a parent's soul by reaching out to them to help them slow down and enjoy the beautiful moments. So I'll take a breath and try to slow down my mind. I'll tell it to stop always thinking about tomorrow and just focus on today. 

   

Updating Fail

I don't know what to write. I just know that I want to. When I first started this blog I loved it. I was motivated and ready to post and share about fitness- but something has changed. My life isn't just about focusing on fitness anymore. My life is about my whole well being and this is why I believe I haven't been able to continue posting. Since my son was born 7 months ago my time and energy had to be invested in learning how to be a mom, a wife, a teacher, a friend and a person. I've been trying to find the new me. I felt like I couldn't continue to write a blog about losing weight when that is not what I have been focusing on.

I miss writing though. There are times when I'm holding my son and the urge to write and share my feelings about a sweet baby snuggled up with me is so strong I want to jump on my computer at that moment so my fingers can fly across the  keys and record every moment so it's never forgotten. My outlet used to be writing.Lord knows I need an outlet. When I sit down and reflect on my day or what's really on my mind I feel at peace. Clarity comes to me when I write and then I can go on with my day. It's therapeutic. When I was young I was told that writing was my "thing" and I abandoned it. I haven't taken the time to get better or to write about what matters to me most.

This blog will no longer be about just losing weight since it is just one aspect of my life. It's going to be a record of what's happening in my life. Perhaps one person will connect for a moment that reflects on life after having a baby, or maybe it will be about the moment when you just wish your hair would look the way you want it to because you're really not mad about your hair but it's just one more thing that isn't going the way you planned. I just need to write again and maybe then the updates will occur more.

Hugs and love,
Karen

Let the Squat Challenge Begin!

Well hello there my lovely readers. I hope that everyone is enjoying their weekend. A friend from Canada mentioned that this was her "long weekend" for Thanksgivings. So a happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in Canada! That reminds me that my Thanksgiving celebrations aren't too far away and that gets me all excited. I appreciate Thanksgiving much more in my adult years than I did when I was a child. Maybe it's due to the fact that I get to enjoy some wine with my dinner...

Holiday discussion is not what brought you to this evening's post. What drew you in was the snappy title! That's right folks, I am going to participate in another squat challenge. I cross my heart and pinkie promise that I will NOT get pregnant this time around. I'm more excited than any one person should be to begin this squat challenge. I'm going to get weird looks from my co-workers when my squat accomplishments become my talking point at lunch time. That's okay with me because I feel so free!

I was six weeks postpartum on Thursday. My check up went well and I am cleared to resume my normal activities. I already knew I was going to register for kickball again this year, but I had no clue what else I was going to do as a daily exercise to get back in the workout groove. Then another new mama in the MLFC mentioned she wanted to start working out again and wanted to do a squat challenge. I jumped on board and we decided to cheer each other on. It caught on and now other lovely ladies are joining us. We start tomorrow.

Here is the schedule if you would like join us too.

My fellow new-mama found this schedule through a Google search (and I just tried to find the original source but it brings me to a Pinterest board). 

Tomorrow starts off with 50 squats. I think after carrying a probably 10 pound baby in a baby carrier  up and down stairs more than once today that tomorrow's squats will be slightly less difficult than I anticipate. My fingers are crossed. 

I hope you join us. It's going to be fun. Really, I promise. And don't forget to take a before and after picture because you'll be amazed by the results. I've seen some pretty powerful pictures. 

Hugs and love, 

I Found A Quick Moment

Well hello there! I have to type as fast my fingers will let me. My little man is sleeping and miraculously I found some time to myself and I thought I should update.

Wow did that first month with little man fly by. He has kept me and the hubby on our toes since arriving and I know it's never going to end from here on out. We are so blessed to have him in our lives. I can't imagine life without him now. My son is perfection.

So what has happened in the last month? I'm teaching again! I'm still sending up prayers of thanks to God for opening that door again. This year I am teaching third grade. It's challenging because I feel like it's such a leap from second grade to third grade - my kiddos aren't so little anymore. They grew up so much over the summer ( I get to teach many of the same kiddos I taught last year since I moved up grades with them).  It's going to be a great year.

This last month has also given me a jump start on my weight loss journey. I found my Weight Watchers weigh-in book from last year. My last weigh-in, which just before I found I was expecting,  was December 3rd (please don't hold me to it. I've got brain drain from my sweet little man) and I was 241 pounds. That is how much I weighed the day I was induced. Now that I have it all straightened out I can officially say that I did not gain anything during my pregnancy. I thought I lost, but I maintained. My belly was all baby. "How does that jump start your weight loss journey?", you ask. Well here's how!

Within  seven days after my delivery I lost about 13 pounds and they just kept melting off. I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked at the scale. By two weeks postpartum I made my 10% Weight Watchers goal and started fitting into pre-pre-pregnancy clothing. I'll be five weeks postpartum on Thursday and my total weight loss is 20.4 pounds. YES!!!

Once my doctor gives me the go ahead to exercise again, which I hope is in the next two weeks, I'm taking my "before" shot and getting back at it with exercise. I'm already planning on playing kickball with my awesome team again this year (oh and team, I promise not to get pregnant during our season!).  These are exciting times again. Me- excited about exercise. Who would have thought?

My goal is to get as close to the 100's as possible by Christmas. Onederland here I come!

Phew, this entry is finished and just in time. My baby boy is waking up and...here comes the little scrunched up face that is an indicator for crying. Mom to the rescue!

Hugs and love,

He's Here!

Hello my lovely readers! Finally, I can announce that my baby boy has arrived. Our little man was born Thursday, August 29th and we couldn't be more in love. He's perfection!

I had a healthy labor and delivery, and yes, I had that epidural! Best. Stuff. Ever. I thought I worked out before, delivering a sweet bundle of joy was one of the hardest things I have ever done. However, I can also say that it was the  most rewarding thing I have ever done. I delivered a baby- I can take on the world now!

Right now we are happy at home figuring out how to be a family of three. So far we are doing well. I'm taking it easy. With that said I'm sure my posts will be a little lacking for the next couple of weeks. I have 6 weeks to heal after all, so no working out until I get the all clear. Also, I'll be busy trying to keep a tiny human alive and happy. I'll try to update here and there; especially if I have to share something that is either too cute or hilarious not to. Already our little boy has made us laugh and he's not even 4 days old.

I do have a weight update! Once my doctor saw that I gained 10 lbs he wanted me to get with it and either lose it or stop gaining. I wanted to lose because I knew it would make my life easier for baby and me as far as delivery and healing was concerned. I worked very hard not to give in to every pregnancy craving that popped into my head. I made sure to plan, shop and cook most of our dinners so that they were the healthiest options for me, hubs and baby boy. Was it hard to do? Yes! Especially once I hit the  30 weeks pregnant mark. This Florida heat is no joke when you are pregnant.

The end result of this hard was that I weighed in at 241 lbs on August 28th. I worked SO HARD for that. It was only a 5 lb or 6 lb weight gain in the end for 41 weeks of pregnancy. I went on the scale today, just curious. I now weigh 230 lbs. THAT'S 11 lbs gone! That was all pregnancy anatomy and baby (who weighed in at 8 lbs 3 oz). Right now I weigh less than my pre-pregnancy weight. This little bit of good news is what is keeping me going so that I can get out of bed and walk, even when it hurts. I'm proud!

So there it is. He's finally here and I intend to savor every moment with my little man. I hope you stay tuned because life has just become more interesting.

Hugs and love,

Thinking Ahead

So it's August 26th and still no baby! This little boy is stubborn. I'm set to be induced on the 29th and I really do believe that he will not arrive until that day - a week later. At least I know the end is near and without a doubt I'll be holding my little miracle in about three days.

With the end drawing near I'm getting pumped about the thought of working out again. It's so close now. My hubs and I were just talking after he got home from work this afternoon and we started talking about Insanity. He finished it two months ago and I am so proud of him! About two years ago I attempted it with two of my girlfriends. I got through the first month but stopped because I was too heavy and things started hurting that should not have been hurting. Even my doctor was shocked I was able to keep up with it for that long. Anyway...

So we were talking about how he would like to either start Insanity again or try P90X. Then he asked me what I planned on doing for a workout routine. With how excited I am to start up again you would think I'd have a great answer for him. I had nothing other than I wanted to walk as soon as possible.

The problem I have with working out is that I start with an all or nothing attitude and burn out; or I can't focus all these workout moves into a routine (I've done a great deal of pinning on Pinterest). Ideally I'd love to join a gym and work with a personal trainer but that's not in my financial future. I know I can do 30 Day Shred again and I can try C25K, but after 9 long months I've thought of all these other things I can try out.

My sister does Zumba and kickboxing and she wants me to join her with kickboxing. A few school friends started doing Pure Barre classes and those sound like fun. I feel like I just need to pick something and stick with it. Also anything I decide to do has to ease me back into the swing of things because the thought of doing a push-up after 6 weeks postpartum has me terrified. I do know I want to be healthy and lose weight.

My mind will probably change after the baby gets here because I'll be sleep deprived and will want to find the workout that gives me the most bang for my buck. The first goal is start Weight Watchers and walk, then we'll see what the future brings.

What are some of the workout routines you like to do? Any classes you enjoy taking?

Hugs and love,

The Great Wait

Tomorrow is the day. After 9 months of waiting my baby boy is supposed to enter the world. Ha, what a joke! This little guy is too comfy for his own good. He likes his current home and is choosing to hold tight. I've sent him an eviction notice because I want him out, but I don't think he cares. So if I don't see him within the next 7 days I will have to be induced. At this point and time I have no problem with it. I just want to see his chubby cheeks and adorable nose in person. 

I just have to survive the waiting...

There is only so much a person can do. I wake up each morning thinking, "Well today I am going to go to the store, check in on my grandma and see what my parents are up to." Then I eat my breakfast and realize I am just plain miserable, which I am allowed to be at 40 weeks pregnant, and I'm lucky if I make it next door to my parents' house. I now have come to enjoy watching morning talk shows, I know when Full House reruns are on, and I've even become addicted to Castle. That's what I do during the day. Then there is the evening, which is long. Yesterday the hubs and I broke out Battleship. Out of three rounds, I won once. The man beat me with some sneaky moves. By the time this little guy comes I'll be the game master.

One thing I do not have to wait for anymore is my Belly Bandit. If any moms-to-be are reading check this link out: http://www.bellybandit.com

So basically it's a binder that you wear after delivery. It's supposed to help shrink everything back to size and also give you support. I'm under no illusion that my 240lb self is going to magically shrink in size because of this binder, but if helps with the recovery process then I am all for it. Really I got it because I wanted the support and to feel like I have a buffer between my sore body and the world. I figured if I had something that made me feel comfortable about my body post baby and offered support then I'd feel like going walking much sooner. Should my belly and hips shrink in the process then it's a cherry on top of the sundae called life. 

I ordered the Belly Bandit since there was a good deal going on. I got the Couture Belly Bandit in plaid because I love plaid and have a slight obsession with Scotland. The website offers other things, like support bands to wear during pregnancy. If you are interested you should check it out!

Back to the waiting game now. It would be lovely if baby boy would actually show up tomorrow. I think my chances of winning the lotto are greater! Off to look up some Battleship strategies. 

Hugs and love to you all.