I cannot believe how long it has been since I have logged into this blog and felt like writing. Really, December was my last post? Oh my, so much has happened since then. Like this one big thing - I found I was pregnant!
That's right folks. My husband and I are expecting our first little one in 3 weeks and 5 days. If you wondered where I went off to, I entered Pregnancy Land. I have not felt like myself for most of it and finally I've been itching to feel like myself again. "Feel like myself again"....I wonder how that is going to work after our little man gets here.
According to the date of my last post it wasn't too long after that I found out I was expecting. My husband and I were overjoyed, scared, excited and a bunch of other emotions. Okay, I think he was mostly in shock for a bit. A lot of things changed once I found out that I was going to be a mommy; from my body to my emotions. I'm apologize to my readers because you were important to me. However, I couldn't think of sharing because for most of my pregnancy I was so afraid and miserable.
Christmas Day, which was 5 or 6 weeks into my pregnancy, I spotted a lot and it scared me so much. I thought that I did something to make it happen. Even though I was only pregnant for that short amount of time the thought of losing my tiny miracle gripped me with fear that I couldn't describe. I drove straight home from a family dinner, drank lots of water and put my feet up. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my pregnancy.
I was good for another few weeks, everything seemed to be fine and then morning sickness hit. Let me rephrase- it was EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY sickness. I've read a funny little quote somewhere that men were the ones to give that awful period during a woman's pregnancy the name "morning sickness" and I would be inclined to agree. Those men got it wrong. I was miserable for so long. I was not enjoying a moment of having this little jelly bean grow inside of me. I think I lost a good 10 pounds during that time. This kind of helped me in the long run because my doctor only wanted me to gain around 10-15 pounds during my entire pregnancy. If you don't remember, I wasn't exactly at my goal weight when I got pregnant.
Being pregnant during your first year of teaching is no joke. While I worked hard to keep my sickness hidden from my students, it took every bit of energy I had within me to do it. I didn't think it was fair to feel miserable in front of them. I still wanted to be a great teacher for them. With that and and everything that we call life I was pretty exhausted once I got home. I ate mashed potatoes or toast when I could. There were days when I could stomach chicken soup. In the end I really did not feel up to continuing a blog about feeling and getting healthy when I felt so miserable. I just wanted to focus on getting through my pregnancy as healthy as possible and that turned into me shutting out a lot of things in my life because I became overly cautious.
With the end in sight I am beginning to get excited about continuing my weight loss journey again. I realize that I will have new challenges to face. Right now I'm jobless (budget cuts in my county led to that), I'll have a newborn to take care of and I'll still have the role of a wife to fill. It's going to be a challenge, but I like a challenge. I have so much to look forward to and be thankful for.
Right now I have this picture in my head of my son sitting in his baby seat in the living room. I'm watching him and working on squats while making faces at him. They're probably faces of pain because, oh my goodness I feel so out of use. I feel like the Tin Man when Dorothy found him. Anyway, the faces of pain will probably amuse him. Even though I'm working hard, it hurts and even though I'm most likely sweaty I know I'm happy. I getting healthy again while making exercise the norm in my son's eyes. I'm excited to make that picture in my mind a reality.
So I'm back. I'm going to try to be better than ever. I left off doing well with 30 Day Shred, Weight Watchers and kickball and I'm going to pick it right back up again. I hope you'll join me on this continuing journey because the pit stop is so close to being over!
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Friday, July 26, 2013
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Back to School
Well hi there! Have you missed me? It's been more than a week since my last post, and I know, shame on me; but my first week back to school as a teacher took over my life. I've never been in so many meetings before! Oh the life of a professional. I love it though. School has been in session for two days now and every moment of being in my OWN classroom has been pretty wonderful. I have an awesome group of 2nd grade kiddos.
Oh, and the sleep has been great too. Going back to work has worn me out to the point that I've been in bed anywhere from 5pm - 7pm and have not thought about waking up until 6am the next morning. Quite frankly, I'm shocked that I'm awake right now. This has been optimal snooze time. Getting sleep has been a joy and I've been feeling better from it.
On Friday I wanted to post and amazing special edition Friday Weigh-In where I not only revealed my weight loss (or gain for the week) but I weighed in on some awesome products see what I did there? I was able to test this summer thanks to Influenster. But, as stated earlier, the first week back to school for teachers kicked my butt so I did not post. I'm shooting for that awesome post this weekend. Some of the products I used rocked my socks off.
Speaking of last Friday, I had a weight loss of 1.9 pounds. I'm rounding that and saying it's two pounds. I was very relieved. There's something to this not being home all the time to snack away on food because I'm bored. I'm hoping for at least half a pound this week. We'll see.
If my team has anything to say about it, I'll be svelte once the weather cools. HA! What a joke, weather cooling in Florida. But once it does, and I'm saying it loosely here, one of the amazing 2nd grade teachers mentioned walking around campus for about 20 minutes a couple times a week. I'm all for getting some cardio in. Plus, through the wellness program my school board offers, there will be Pilates classes offered at my campus twice a week for 10 weeks starting in Sept. I'm all over that! There cannot be any excuses if I participate in that because I'll already be on campus. All I have to do is change into some comfy work out clothes which will not be hard considering my "dress clothes" are very uncomfortable come 3pm.
The school year is looking bright. Whenever one starts I feel like I get to experience New Years Day all over again. It's a fresh start for one and all.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Gym Class Memoir
It's Sunday afternoon and I know I need to workout. I don't want to. It's hot and I feel like taking a nap instead. That's my way of avoiding a workout. Instead of a taking a nap I decided to write a blog post because it will make me feel silly for procrastinating. So a thought has taken over. Why was I not properly educated in physical fitness? I took gym classes from pre-K through 10th grade. It seems that I should have understood something.
Honestly, I don't have any good memories attached to physical education past the 2nd grade. 3rd grade is when I remember running the dreaded "mile". We would line up on our field, our coach would tell us how many times we had to run around to complete a mile, she would blow her whistle and we were off. For a girl who enjoyed riding her bike and walking, running felt weird. My teacher never encouraged me. She would just snap at me, "Keep going." She never said it in a positive way either. My best advice came from another classmate would told me to bend my elbows and keep them at my side so I met less resistance.
Fast forward to middle school. Chunky Karen had to run in front of her peers. I inherited my mother's knees. There is nothing wrong with them but they have a distinct shape and the back of them aren't magazine-cover ready. Oh and I should point out that I wasn't completely out of shape in middle school. I took jazz classes, Irish Step Dancing classes, was part of the town cheer leading squad and was part of my school's competitive cheer leading squad. I could dance like nobody's business but I could not run for long periods of time.
I had a really great gym teacher, but of course he focused his energies into the boys and girls who were athletic and could already master running and other exercises. He cheered me on when I did 40 push-ups in a row and told me I could complete that mile no matter what, even if I had to walk. There was the positive I needed, but I wish someone had taught me how to pace myself when I ran. How to start small and build up to completing a mile run in under 15 minutes - that is usually how long it took. And when I did feel confident the resident girl bully make sure I felt ten times as small. I remember her whispering, very loudly to a popular girl in our class who I used to be friends with, "Why do the back of her knees look like that? Yours don't and mine don't." It was humiliating.
Now I am in high school. Once again the dreaded "mile" run is the fixture for 10th grade P.E. and I sucked. There are no other words than that. And once again my P.E. teacher took to the students who were part of sports teams and could already perform with outstanding times. Once again I wish someone would have taken the time to train me, to teach me.
As an educator I realize how important is to celebrate the successes of the students who understand a concept right away. I was trained on how to keep them climbing up the success ladder. On the other hand I have to realize how important it is to focus on the student who is struggling. It's not that the student will never understand the concept being taught it's just that he or she needs more guidance. I'll give that student equal attention to make sure that he or she is successful. It's differentiated instruction, it's scaffolding, it's support. Why did my gym teachers never do that for me? I grew up thinking I was just not meant to be good at anything athletic. So now that I am trying on my own it's really hard. I still have that mind frame that if I fail at my exercises it's because I was never really meant to be good at them any way. I am just the book smarts kind of girl.
I'm 24 and I feel like I have to start training myself to get more physical activity in my life as if I were 6 again. So be it. I hope that children out there who were like me growing up are getting better learning opportunities in health than me. I hope that there is a gym teacher out there who believes every child can achieve physical fitness but some may have to have more guidance along the way. Personally, I am going to teach myself to be better so that I can teach my own children. I don't want them to end up like me in their young adult lives.
Well that was all the encouragement I needed. Here's to day one of C25K. I'll tell you all about that. I am so excited!
Honestly, I don't have any good memories attached to physical education past the 2nd grade. 3rd grade is when I remember running the dreaded "mile". We would line up on our field, our coach would tell us how many times we had to run around to complete a mile, she would blow her whistle and we were off. For a girl who enjoyed riding her bike and walking, running felt weird. My teacher never encouraged me. She would just snap at me, "Keep going." She never said it in a positive way either. My best advice came from another classmate would told me to bend my elbows and keep them at my side so I met less resistance.
Fast forward to middle school. Chunky Karen had to run in front of her peers. I inherited my mother's knees. There is nothing wrong with them but they have a distinct shape and the back of them aren't magazine-cover ready. Oh and I should point out that I wasn't completely out of shape in middle school. I took jazz classes, Irish Step Dancing classes, was part of the town cheer leading squad and was part of my school's competitive cheer leading squad. I could dance like nobody's business but I could not run for long periods of time.
I had a really great gym teacher, but of course he focused his energies into the boys and girls who were athletic and could already master running and other exercises. He cheered me on when I did 40 push-ups in a row and told me I could complete that mile no matter what, even if I had to walk. There was the positive I needed, but I wish someone had taught me how to pace myself when I ran. How to start small and build up to completing a mile run in under 15 minutes - that is usually how long it took. And when I did feel confident the resident girl bully make sure I felt ten times as small. I remember her whispering, very loudly to a popular girl in our class who I used to be friends with, "Why do the back of her knees look like that? Yours don't and mine don't." It was humiliating.
Now I am in high school. Once again the dreaded "mile" run is the fixture for 10th grade P.E. and I sucked. There are no other words than that. And once again my P.E. teacher took to the students who were part of sports teams and could already perform with outstanding times. Once again I wish someone would have taken the time to train me, to teach me.
As an educator I realize how important is to celebrate the successes of the students who understand a concept right away. I was trained on how to keep them climbing up the success ladder. On the other hand I have to realize how important it is to focus on the student who is struggling. It's not that the student will never understand the concept being taught it's just that he or she needs more guidance. I'll give that student equal attention to make sure that he or she is successful. It's differentiated instruction, it's scaffolding, it's support. Why did my gym teachers never do that for me? I grew up thinking I was just not meant to be good at anything athletic. So now that I am trying on my own it's really hard. I still have that mind frame that if I fail at my exercises it's because I was never really meant to be good at them any way. I am just the book smarts kind of girl.
I'm 24 and I feel like I have to start training myself to get more physical activity in my life as if I were 6 again. So be it. I hope that children out there who were like me growing up are getting better learning opportunities in health than me. I hope that there is a gym teacher out there who believes every child can achieve physical fitness but some may have to have more guidance along the way. Personally, I am going to teach myself to be better so that I can teach my own children. I don't want them to end up like me in their young adult lives.
Well that was all the encouragement I needed. Here's to day one of C25K. I'll tell you all about that. I am so excited!
Friday, August 10, 2012
Friday Weigh-In
Hello my lovelies! Friday is here and I could not be happier. My week has been full of new teacher training mixed in with setting up my classroom. I am whooped. Honestly, I am not complaining because I am happy to be busy again. It feels good.
What doesn't feel good, however, is gaining back 2 lbs. I am back at 247.2 lbs. This is not shocking news since I was a very bad girl this week. There were two Taco Bell runs, a Boston Market outing, a lunch at McDonald's, bagels for breakfast, a chocolate chip cookie, Cody's, Tarpon Pointe, Don Pabolo's, and Jersey Mikes involved. Not to mention a bag of Doritos. Oh goodness I can't wait to be totally in control of what I eat again!
This week I had to participate in 3 days of new teacher training where breakfast and lunch was graciously provided for us. Since I have this weird fruit phobia (don't ask, I'm still trying to figure it out) I went for the bagels for breakfast two days in a row. Then for lunch one day I had a beef dip sandwich with fries, another day the MEA provided yummy croissant sandwiches that weren't too bad nutritionally speaking; and yesterday I had lunch with my principal where I ordered a blackened grouper sandwich with fries. Yesterday I had one pork and one chicken tamale with refried beans and Spanish rice for dinner. These were not smart choices and they were not taken care of with exercise. I was too darn tired, which is such a lame excuse.
Some of my food choices for this week were out of my control and I had to roll with it. Living off of free food and gift cards to certain eateries makes smart choices a little difficult. I'm dreaming of the day when I can eat celery again! I need to suck it up and work out too. I wish I was more athletic like my brother. He LOVES staying active. In fact he plays softball, tennis and football with friends and in leagues. Why did that gene skip me? When I think of having to lace up my sneakers my body just groans.
I was complaining about the fact that after work I just want to go home and not work out. One of my colleagues said, "Well everyone does." That simple statement made a big impact on me. It's true. No one, unless they are really into fitness, wants to put in another 30 minutes to an hour sweating it out after a full day of work. What makes those people who do it different from me is that they actually do it. Last night when I came home from Don Pablo's I saw a woman in my complex running at 9:30 p.m. It was late, it was dark and she still found the time to run. She could have come up with a million excuses but instead she had a her butt out there running.
I need to stop talking and actually DO more. Yes, it is true that I cannot do too much for running until I can afford to buy proper shoes but that doesn't mean I should blow off my walking dates with Leslie from Walk Away the Pounds. I can still do that until I get some running gear.
It's a journey to a life style change and sometimes during a journey you lose your way. In my case it is a lot, but as long as I get right back on track again I am still on my way. Bring it on new week. I've got this!
What doesn't feel good, however, is gaining back 2 lbs. I am back at 247.2 lbs. This is not shocking news since I was a very bad girl this week. There were two Taco Bell runs, a Boston Market outing, a lunch at McDonald's, bagels for breakfast, a chocolate chip cookie, Cody's, Tarpon Pointe, Don Pabolo's, and Jersey Mikes involved. Not to mention a bag of Doritos. Oh goodness I can't wait to be totally in control of what I eat again!
This week I had to participate in 3 days of new teacher training where breakfast and lunch was graciously provided for us. Since I have this weird fruit phobia (don't ask, I'm still trying to figure it out) I went for the bagels for breakfast two days in a row. Then for lunch one day I had a beef dip sandwich with fries, another day the MEA provided yummy croissant sandwiches that weren't too bad nutritionally speaking; and yesterday I had lunch with my principal where I ordered a blackened grouper sandwich with fries. Yesterday I had one pork and one chicken tamale with refried beans and Spanish rice for dinner. These were not smart choices and they were not taken care of with exercise. I was too darn tired, which is such a lame excuse.
Some of my food choices for this week were out of my control and I had to roll with it. Living off of free food and gift cards to certain eateries makes smart choices a little difficult. I'm dreaming of the day when I can eat celery again! I need to suck it up and work out too. I wish I was more athletic like my brother. He LOVES staying active. In fact he plays softball, tennis and football with friends and in leagues. Why did that gene skip me? When I think of having to lace up my sneakers my body just groans.
I was complaining about the fact that after work I just want to go home and not work out. One of my colleagues said, "Well everyone does." That simple statement made a big impact on me. It's true. No one, unless they are really into fitness, wants to put in another 30 minutes to an hour sweating it out after a full day of work. What makes those people who do it different from me is that they actually do it. Last night when I came home from Don Pablo's I saw a woman in my complex running at 9:30 p.m. It was late, it was dark and she still found the time to run. She could have come up with a million excuses but instead she had a her butt out there running.
I need to stop talking and actually DO more. Yes, it is true that I cannot do too much for running until I can afford to buy proper shoes but that doesn't mean I should blow off my walking dates with Leslie from Walk Away the Pounds. I can still do that until I get some running gear.
It's a journey to a life style change and sometimes during a journey you lose your way. In my case it is a lot, but as long as I get right back on track again I am still on my way. Bring it on new week. I've got this!
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