What I Have Enjoyed With My Pregnancy

Well hello again blog world! I hope everyone has enjoyed their Monday. Mine was pretty busy for a person who is 36 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I'm so ready ( and so not) to get meet my little man. Being pregnant in Florida during the summer is  no joke! Now that I am in my air conditioned home, I have had the chance to just sit and think of things. Really, there isn't much I can do these days.

Anyway...like I said I have had the chance to just sit and think of things today. As the end of my pregnant adventure draws nearer I started to think of the things I really hated about being pregnant and the things I really enjoyed. It is easy to to focus on the negative aspects of pregnancy, the things no one tells you about before you get pregnant and then suddenly once you are everyone who has been pregnant shares. For instance I could really focus on how I hated having "morning" sickness for eternity, or how I was overweight when I became pregnant and hated the pressure of my doctor watching my weight like a hawk. I could focus on how little by little I couldn't participate in the things I enjoyed doing or that I felt like some friendships became strained. The fact is I could go on and on.

I have taken little time to really stop and appreciate what I have enjoyed about being pregnant. This probably because I believe that I do not have to love being pregnant. I know I'm blessed and that because I want kids doesn't necessarily mean I would have them.  It has not been glamorous. I'm always constantly worried that something bad is going to happen. When I stopped to think about it, there are some things I have enjoyed.

1. Feeling my baby move - This has been the most amazing experience of all. When he squirms or jabs me it makes me pause and realize that I am actually growing another human being. How lucky am I?

2. My new appreciation for vegetables - One of the reasons I am fat is because I have a difficult time eating right. If you've read some of my earlier posts, my relationship with food is strained and I am teaching myself to look food in a different light. While fruit and I will always have issues, over the years I have developed a taste for veggies. Now that I'm pregnant I really enjoy them! Ask me how I feel about zucchini now. Go ahead. I LOVE IT! You want me to eat only chicken and vegetable stir-fry without any type of rice? Yes, I will and I'll even eat the mushrooms too. When I couldn't stand the sight or smell of meat sometimes all I ate were veggies and guess what - I WAS OKAY WITH IT!

3. Breaking my soda addiction - I have stepped away from the diet soda, as well as Crystal Light, during my pregnancy. I had enough people scare me about phenylalanine and what it could possible do to a growing fetus. Also, I really should be drinking water most of the time. I tried to drink regular soda every now and then in the beginning because I was craving it, but it didn't work out. I found it too sweet. I only get a Sprite on occasion and even then it has to have a lot of ice because I find it too sweet and want it watered down. I hope I can continue this trend for post pregnancy living. I'm not going to deny myself a diet soda once in a while because I do enjoy it and life is about things in moderation. I just don't think I'll need 2-3 cans of it a day.

4. Mick becoming more lovey - I have two awesome cats named Sam and Mick. Sam is older and more cuddly. Mick is younger and can be prickly. Since becoming pregnant both cats have picked up on something about me changing. Sam could care less at this point, but Mick now loves to find me and snuggle up near my belly. He either wants to sit on it (ouch! no!) or cuddle up right next to it and rest his head on my belly. He gets all snugly and starts purring like a purr machine. It's really quite sweet. I also have hormonal days when I feel bad about leaving my cats at home by themselves for a certain period of time. I won't miss pregnancy hormones!

I'll feel bad if I don't mention my husband. I always enjoy his company. It's a given. He's been really awesome throughout this whole process. I can't wait for the moment when he gets to meet his son because the poor man has yet to feel the baby move. It's all that extra padding. I love him to death and know he'll be an awesome daddy because he's been a great partner during my pregnancy.

Well that's all for today folks. Tomorrow brings Tuesday and that is just one day closer to the weekend!

I'm Back and I'll Be Better Than Ever!

I cannot believe how long it has been since I have logged into this blog and felt like writing. Really, December was my last post? Oh my, so much has happened since then. Like this one big thing - I found I was pregnant!

That's right folks. My husband and I are expecting our first little one in 3 weeks and 5 days. If you wondered where I went off to, I entered Pregnancy Land. I have not felt like myself for most of it and finally I've been itching to feel like myself again. "Feel like myself again"....I wonder how that is going to work after our little man gets here.

According to the date of my last post it wasn't too long after that I found out I was expecting. My husband and I were overjoyed, scared, excited and a bunch of other emotions. Okay, I think he was mostly in shock for a bit. A lot of things changed once I found out that I was going to be a mommy; from my body to my emotions. I'm apologize to my readers because you were important to me. However, I couldn't think of sharing because for most of my pregnancy I was so afraid and miserable.

 Christmas Day, which was 5 or 6 weeks into my pregnancy, I spotted a lot and it scared me so much. I thought that I did something to make it happen. Even though I was only pregnant for that short amount of time the thought of losing my tiny miracle gripped me with fear that I couldn't describe. I drove straight home from a family dinner, drank lots of water and put my feet up. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize my pregnancy.

I was good for another few weeks, everything seemed to be fine and then morning sickness hit. Let me rephrase- it was EVERY MOMENT OF THE DAY sickness. I've read a funny little quote somewhere that men were the ones to give that awful period during a woman's pregnancy the  name "morning sickness" and I would be inclined to agree. Those men got it wrong. I was miserable for so long. I was not enjoying a moment of having this little jelly bean grow inside of me. I think I lost a good 10 pounds during that time. This kind of helped me in the long run because my doctor only wanted me to gain around 10-15 pounds during my entire pregnancy. If you don't remember, I wasn't exactly at my goal weight when I got pregnant.

Being pregnant during your first year of teaching is no joke. While I worked hard to keep my sickness hidden from my students, it took every bit of energy I had within me to do it. I didn't think it was fair to feel miserable in front of them. I still wanted to be a great teacher for them. With that and and everything that we call life I was pretty exhausted once I got home. I ate mashed potatoes or toast when I could. There were days when I could stomach chicken soup. In the end I really did not feel up to continuing a blog about feeling and getting healthy when I felt so miserable. I just wanted to focus on getting through my pregnancy as healthy as possible and that turned into me shutting out a lot of things in my life because I became overly cautious.

With the end in sight I am beginning to get excited about continuing my weight loss journey again. I realize that I will have new challenges to face. Right now I'm jobless (budget cuts in my county led to that), I'll have a newborn to take care of and I'll still have the role of a wife to fill. It's going to be a challenge, but I like a challenge. I have so much to look forward to and be thankful for.

Right now I have this picture in my head of my son sitting in his baby seat in the living room. I'm watching him and working on squats while making faces at him. They're probably faces of pain because, oh my goodness I feel so out of use. I feel like the Tin Man when Dorothy found him. Anyway, the faces of pain will probably amuse him. Even though I'm working hard, it hurts and even though I'm most likely sweaty I know I'm happy. I getting healthy again while making exercise the norm in my son's eyes. I'm excited to make that picture in my mind a reality.

So I'm back. I'm going to try to be better than ever. I left off doing well with 30 Day Shred, Weight Watchers and kickball and I'm going to pick it right back up again. I hope you'll join me on this continuing journey because the pit stop is so close to being over!

December Squat Challenge

Hello lovelies! Did everyone have a Sunday Funday? The hubs and I did. We just relaxed, picked out our Christmas tree and I was able to get a lot of work accomplished.

So, I'm a part of this amazing FB group, Mama Laughlin's Fit Camp. I found them after reading Mama Laughlin's blog. They are the most inspiring group of women I have had the chance to meet (as well as one can through the internet) and talk to. The ladies that I get to talk to make me want get healtheir for myself and for them. We all need support when trying to make a life style change. I know I can't do it alone. If I could have  I wouldn't be attending WW right now would I? Oh to be my hubs who can eat, drink and do whatever he wants without gaining an ounce.

MLFC (that's Mama Laughlin's Fit Camp for short) has provided the followers with a December Squat Challenge. It looks like this:

The chart of awesomeness death

I started it yesterday so that I could follow along without having to double up. And by yesterday I mean 11:38 p.m. because there was no chance that I was going to do 45 squats in one day - yet. Even my hubs is impressed with this schedule. I told him I'd be able to do 100 squats by December 31st and he almost choked on his McDonald's Angus Burger.

I'm in. Are you in? You don't have to be part of MLFC. You just have to want to challenge yourself and try something new.

Lord knows I'll be doing it everyday since the hubs and I brought home our Christmas tree. It's naked now, but once Fred the Fraser gets decorated my kitties are going to knock of the ornaments and it will be me, I'm 100% sure, who will have to put them back up. I'll call the move the Squat and Decorate!

And just for giggles, here's Fred.

Happy Squatting!

Whoops

Hello my lovelies! Welcome to another Saturday edition of From King Size to Queen Size. Today has been a lazy day and boy was it much needed. The past week kicked my butt. I had to complete progress reports, get ready for an observation by my assistant principal not to mention fit in a doctor's appointment and a WW meeting in there somewhere. I usually like to keep my weekdays low key. Such is life.

I wound up with a pound weight gain from the week of Thanksgiving. I figured as much. I planned ahead for my three Thanksgiving dinners but there were a few surprises on the way. Since my aunt didn't make it down in time for Thanksgiving with my side of the family, I was able to visit my grandma instead. I hadn't initially planned on eating a pumpkin dessert, but one of my aunts brought a pumpkin roll over. I caved. It was okay though because I still had my weekly points.

Friday's Thanksgiving with my hubs' family went well. I planned it out and stuck to my plan. What got me was Friend's Thanksgiving that my hubs and I hosted last Saturday. There was lots of wine, stuffing and homemade pumpkin pie cheese cake. My hubs' friend said he was making a pumpkin pie from scratch and I had my doubts; but darn if that pie wasn't yummy!

I can live with a pound weight gain because I'm sure gained more than that last year. It's easier to lose a pound than five or seven. So I got back on track this week and it's going well. Also, I was able to get more activity in since I had kickball last night. My team finally won our first game! It rocked. I made a few plays myself on the kicking end of it. My body feels like a truck ran over it today, however. I really gave it my all last night.

I foresee the rest of the week being hard when I try to get activity in. I'm currently weening myself off Paxil (that's an antidepressant and yes, I have no shame in admitting that I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. No one is perfect and there is nothing wrong with depression). Just this evening I researched some withdrawal symptoms and I was blown away by the many support pages and information pertaining to Paxil withdrawal. Seems to be a nasty antidepressant to ween off of. My major symptom is dizziness. Hopefully I won't fall flat on my butt when I go for a walk or a jog.

It's tough getting healthy so you are ready to have a baby. I will be successful because I am motivated. If I can prevent my future children from any health issues, I will do everything in my power to do so and that means making it through this Paxil withdrawal.

I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their Saturday evening. I have to make room for our Christmas tree. We are getting it tomorrow and I am so flipping excited. Christmas tree smell is the best! I'll have to post pictures once it's decorated.

Five Is My Lucky Number

Hello my lovelies! Do any of you have a lucky number? I've always had a fascination with lucky numbers since I was a wee tot. Growing up my lucky number was 11. Everything had to be connected to the number 11. I remember that my very first softball jersey for the good ole Bagels on a Hill was number 11. And yes, my team's name was Bagels on a Hill. We sported awesome grape shade jerseys and matching hats. My parents were married in November, which is the eleventh month of the year. See a pattern going on here?

Then during our move to the Sunshine State whenever I looked at the clock in our beat up station wagon,  and actually noticed the time, it was always 5:11 a.m. or 5:11 p.m. From then on the numbers 5 and 11 became my lucky numbers. They have been in every part of my important life events or decisions. Call me crazy ,my hubs already does; but those numbers always meant success in my world. So when I started Weight Watchers again for the fifth time I knew my first week was going to be successful. I was ecstatic when the  scale read FIVE POUNDS less last Wednesday. That's right - I lost 5.4 lbs in one week. HIP HIP HOORAY!

That number has been the driving force for the past week. When I want to go over my points I think about those five pounds. I really wanted to go the lazy route last night, but I thought about those five pounds and made myself exercise. I never want to see those five pounds again. My motivation is back in full force.

I could kick myself in the butt. I knew Weight Watchers worked when I went to meetings. The first time I started resulted in great success. Why was I so stubborn for the past four years? I thought I was above it all. If I didn't need help from someone or something  and if I stayed in control all by myself, I believed I didn't have a food and weight problem. My thinking was wrong. Since I was so stubborn I gained 100 lbs in the span of four years. Pitiful. It's simply pitiful. Now I have to work twice as hard and I was putting something that I want so badly at risk - the chance to be a mother.

My doctor's voice rang loud and clear when he gently told me that my weight could be an issue with conceiving. I already knew this and decided to do something about it by joining Weight Watchers again, but to hear my doctor tell me was like a slap upside the head. So those five pounds are still sticking with me, but not on my body. They are my motivator, my lucky number in this weight loss game. Whenever I want that last bite or I 'd rather sit instead of walk I will think about the family I want and the number five. My lucky number won't be just about lucky anymore. It will mean so much more, like hard work and making a dream come true.

Maybe the Fifth Time's A Charm

Happy Saturday my lovelies. Today has been filled with the hollies and the jollies of Christmas and Twilight. I had one of those days where a girl has to acknowledge she's blessed. I had a lunch date with my bestie and then we had fun figuring out what Christmas decorations we wanted decking our halls this year. You'd think the fun would end then, but no. My hubs, as amazing as he is, wanted a dinner and a movie night. It was Chinese take-out and Breaking Dawn Part 1 for the two of us. He suggested it! I'm floored myself, ladies.

 Tomorrow we are going to see part 2. I. CAN'T. WAIT. Honest to goodness, the movies got better as they went along. I gave up all hope after the second movie. I didn't think they did the books justice. I take it back for Breaking Dawn.

So, I joined Weight Watchers again...for the fifth time. I'm feeling really good about this round though. My past success with Weight Watchers had to do with my motivation and I had motivation because I went to the meetings. My meeting leader was the best, the funniest, and the most encouraging lady I had met. I wanted to have a great weigh-in for me and for her because she really believed in me. Life got busy, meetings were impossible to go to and so I tried the online version. Three times. Unsuccessfully.

Suddenly a light bulb went off. I am no longer a college student. Now a days I am a professional. My job allows me to leave work by 3:15 p.m. Holy cow, I can go back to Weight Watchers meetings again! Well, that's just what I did. Wednesday was my first meeting and it felt like going home. My favorite meeting leader is still doing the 6 p.m. meetings and I am once again excited to get healthy. The past two days have been no problem! I can't wait for next Wednesday's meeting.

I'm going to keep tracking those points and keep getting that activity in. In just two days I've already earned 18 Fitness Points (more on tha tlater). Like last night at my kickball game. I kicked the ball, gone onto base AND even caught the ball when the other team kicked it.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I have the next week off for our Fall Break and I plan on enjoying every moment of it.

And Oh It Hurts

Hello lovelies. I'm going to try to not be Debbie Downer, but it's kind of difficult. This is a non-weight/health related topic, but I needed to write about it since this blog has become very therapeutic for me.

November 10th is quickly approaching and for those of you who know me well, this coming Saturday was my original wedding date. Since life never works out the way you want it to, my husband and I were married by the Justice of the Peace last December.

 It was thrilling to get married in the spur of the moment. I have never been one for spontaneity when it comes to big life decisions. My hubs and I were wracking our brains this time last year trying to figure out how we would pay for our wedding. The universe was working against us. Nothing was going the way it should have. Clearly seeing how distressed I was my husband suggested we get married without all the bells and whistles and just focus on us. Oh, and he thought we should get married that December. At that moment all that mattered to me was being married to my best friend. So on December 15, 2011 we became husband and wife.

While that moment will be forever one of my sweetest memories I still feel awful about not having the wedding I dreamed of. My wedding dress is still hanging in my grandmother's closet waiting to be worn. I won't lie. I cry when I think of all of the things I didn't get to experience. I didn't have a bridal shower. I didn't have a bachelorette party with my closest gal pals. I never had that first dance with my father.We didn't have a honeymoon. Thinking about it hurts. Pockets of sweet memories to made and kept that I had looked forward to since I was a little girl were just gone in a flash.

In four years my hubs and I plan on having a vow renewal to celebrate our five year wedding anniversary (this December we will be  celebrating our first anniversary). We will celebrate that special anniversary with our closest friends and family. Who knows, maybe a little me or a little hubs will join us on that day. I'll get to take my hubs' breath away when he sees me in my gorgeous dress. I'll get to grin like a simpering little girl seeing him all dressed up in a tux.

We will have that special day. Until then, it still hurts like a dull pain. It won't be the same thing as preparing for the actual day that you get married, but it will still be wonderful. I just hope I can make it happen and that planning the event doesn't fall apart at the seams like it did last year.

This Saturday will be a busy day to keep my mind off of what was supposed to be. I didn't think it would be this bad to face that day, but I was wrong. Hopefully some medieval merriment and friends are the cure.