It's okay that I'm having a laid back Saturday with my little dude. We had a lot of fun on my birthday this past Thursday and yesterday we were out. That's just too much for the baby monster (yes, that is a term of endearment for my son. It just rolled of the tongue one day. I'm also known as the mommy monster. He's a cute little monster). My son is like a little old man. He's set in his ways and would rather be home crawling on the floor while Mickey Mouse Club House is on in the background instead of being out visiting his Grams and Grandpa. I don't get it. He has a great Grams and Grandpa.
Lets get back to my birthday. I did have a good one.The weather was gorgeous. My students made me feel very loved. I got a card and some sweet notes that wished me a happy birthday with thanks for being their teacher. Those are some of the best gifts I could ever receive. Then they broke out singing "Happy Birthday" to me.
After school I went home so my hubs and I could have dinner together and then we went to my parents' home because my dad ordered a birthday cake for me. He was very proud of his design decision. I'm blessed with such loving parents.
|My dad has always known me well. Purple is my favorite color.|
This birthday was just a teeny bit hard for me to face. I'm on the other side of 25 now. Turning 25 was exciting since it felt like I was really in the adult club. I managed to achieve a lot by 25, which was a goal I had. It seemed like a good number. While I have a great many things to check off of my bucket list, it feels different now. I'm closer to 30 than I've been. Seriously, I can remember turning 10 and getting my brand new bike. It felt like yesterday. Sometimes I still feel like I'm 16 years old.
Knowing that 30 is not as far off as it has been really got to me. Mainly I'm still upset over the fact that I'm still not where I want to be physically. I still remember telling myself that it was okay to be chunky because I was going to get skinny by the time I reached my twenties. That did happen and then I let it slip away from me. Seven years later I'm back to telling myself that it's okay because I'm going to get skinny by the time I reach my thirties. To be honest, I am weary of this weight-loss battle. Since August I have lost 44 pounds. That is a huge loss and I know I'm on my way to getting back to where I was seven years ago. Right now I weigh the same as I did that day seven years ago when I told myself that enough was enough. It's mentally draining to keep telling myself that I am going to get past this point when I keep getting angry that I was already here and had taken care of it.
What I need is a swift kick in the behind to get myself in gear. I have all the things I need to get going, but I'm not in the frame of mind to actually start. Frustrated does not even begin to describe what I feel. My birthday gift to myself has got to be the start of changing for good. A healthy life style was one of my major New Year's goals and here we are 4 months later and I can't even figure out an exercise routine. Thanks to some positive ladies I met while pregnant I joined an S-P-P challenge (squats, push-ups and planks). It's nothing major, but it's a start. I'll talk more about it because it's a simple thing to do each day for a person who wants to get a routine started. My overall goal is for my weight not to be on my mind everyday. I'd rather be thinking of Johnny Depp or what book I want to read next, not have my thoughts be interrupted while reading my book thinking, "Well the hero would not go for a girl like me because I look awful!"
This is not the direction I thought this post would take, but obviously these thoughts have been on my mind. That's what this blog is about though. Getting the many moments and thoughts out there to start each day new.